Guilt

Ethan started playing the cutest game yesterday. For a few days I would open and close my mouth and say ma ma ma ma ma ma to him. Last night I was holding him and all of a sudden he started opening and closing his mouth and saying ma ma ma ma ma. Now it has become a game between us. He will stare at me and I will do it and then he gets the biggest grin on his face and repeats me. Sometimes he will even initiate it. He will stare at me until I look down at him and then he will start ma ma ma ma ma until I repeat him. He gets so proud of himself. His whole face lights up. He is so sweet. I know he is not actually saying ma ma but it is close enough for me.

The countdown has begun....only 9 days left until Myrtle beach!!!! I can't wait!

Dax and Emma are doing well. They drive me crazy sometimes because all they do is pester one another. I can't believe I am going to spend 16 hours in the car with them. I must be nuts! Emma is talking sooooo much now. She repeats things about 5 times back to you. She also learned her colors. She still mixes up yellow and orange but oh well, she will get it soon enough.

Sometime I feel guilty that I don't spend enough time with Dax and Emma. I stay at home with them all day long so you wonder why I would feel this way. I just always feel like I am trying to get something done like cleaning or taking care of Ethan. Then when I do get a free second I try to shower or check my e-mail. That always seems to be the time when my kids want to play with me. Since it feels like the only few minutes I have to myself, I usually brush them off. I want to be able to spend quality time with them. I want them to remember me playing games with them and tickling them. I don't know how to do that though. It just feels like there is not enough time in the day. And another thing, as much time as I spend trying to keep the house clean, it only takes a matter of minutes to mess it back up. I feel like I can't get ahead. I told myself that I was going to play outside more with my kids. It is so hard. I think okay, let me just finish this one thing and that thing turns into another and by the time I am done with that it is time to feed Ethan again. I love staying at home with my kids but it is a hard job! Anyway, I am going to try a lot harder to spend some quality time with my babies.

Well, I think I have done enough venting for tonight. I will write again another time.