8 months old already

I can not believe it has already been 8 months since Ethan was born. It went by so fast!!! He is doing so well. He is rolling all over the place and ends up under the living room table most of the time. He is still not sitting up and dosen't even seem close to sitting up but we are working on it. He has great social skills and is always babbling, smiling and laughing. He has brought so much joy to my life. Still there are days that I wish he did not have Down syndrome but I will admit they are coming less frequently now.

Have you ever heard of the Duggars. She is pregnant with her 17th or 18th child and is in her 40's. It makes me wonder how someone can have so many kids and not have anything wrong with them. I hope I don't offend anyone and don't get me wrong, I love my little man but why can someone have 17 normal kids and I couldn't have three. And I was only 25. I guess I still struggle with this being my fault. I know it is just something that happened. I just look at my little guy and I want the world for him. It just isn't fair that he already has such a disadvantage in life. Even though I love him and see him for the amazing little baby he is it makes me sad to think that some people in this world would rather he not exist. I probably should stop rambling on and on. I think I may have already offended some people.

A few years ago I worked with a special needs girl named Paige, who loved to swim. One of my Aunts has an inground pool and was having a pool party. I asked her if I could bring Paige to go swimming and she told me she would not be comfortable with that. I wonder if she will think the same about Ethan.

On a much different note, please pray for me. I had quite a stressful year and a half (nothing to do with Ethan) and I think it is starting to catch up with me. I am feeling very run down. It takes all of my energy to make it through the day. I have very seriously thought about talking to my doctor about starting on some antidepressants but for now I don't want to go that route. Well thats all for now, I am going to try to update this more often, but like I said before, I am feeling very run down.