Ethan has a new friend

There is a girl that goes to our church. She is 18 years old and also has Down Syndrome. She loves babies and always points to Ethan and says "baby." This past Sunday I let her hold Ethan. Her mom is very nice and asks me how we are all doing everythime I see her. Here are a few pictures.

Feeling a little sad.

Today my cousins baby came over to visit my grandma. She is a month younger than Ethan. I didn't realize just how much it would sting to see her doing so much more than Ethan. I know he is behind, I guess I just still had hopes that he would do everything on time. She is already rolling over and grabbing her toes, she is almost sitting up and grabbing things a lot better than Ethan, she is even holding her own bottle. I don't even know why I am comparing them. I know every baby is different and I love Ethan for who he is. I just have incredibly high hopes for him. He recently had his 6 month check up and the doctor put him at a 4-5 month level for his gross moter skills and a 6 month level for everything else. I feel so bad for him. I know he is a happy little guy and doesn't know that he is behind. My heart just aches because I want for him to be able to do everything that everyone else is doing. Anyway enough feeling sorry for myself. Next Saturday is our support group picnic. I am excited to see everyone but I am a little nervous.

Hi there

It has been a little while since I last posted. We got back from vacation and have been trying to get back into some type of routine this past week. Vacation was awesome. We did a lot of nice things. We spent time at the beach, went to Ripleys aquarium, had lunch at Hard Rock Cafe, walked around Broadway at the beach went to a waterpark but most importantly spent time with family. The kids were so good during the whole trip. Ethan enjoyed his first time in the ocean. Here are some pictures.

back home

I haven't posted in a while because we were on vacation. It was WONDERFUL!!! Ethan went into the ocean for his first time. He loved it. I will post some pictures and more about our vacation when I have some more time later.

My letter to God

Okay, I am going to get a little personal here. I was reading through a journal that I had and I discovered a letter that I wrote to God after Ethan was born. It was written in January 15, 2007

Dear God,
There are so many things that have been weighing heavily on my heart lately. First off, I want to ask for your forgiveness on losing my faith. When I first found out that my little boy was going to be born with Down syndrome I was mad at you. I thought I was being punished. It just wasn't fair. I was only 25 years old and was not even ready for a third child, let alone a child that was going to have special needs. I spent most of my pregnancy sad a depressed. I had to grieve the loss of my "normal" child. I was not so sure I could accept anything less. I was worried about how I would feel towards this child. Would I be able to love him? It was so hard to put on a happy face when deep down I was hurting so bad. Nobody understood exactly how I was feeling because I wouldn't talk about it. Some people understood that I felt sad here and there but deep down I was terrified. I was the most scared I have ever been in my life. I am so sorry God that instead of turning towards you for comfort, I turned away. I guess my pregnancy would have been a lot easier had I not lost my faith in you. Now Ethan is here and I can't believe that I ever even questioned you. He is amazing and perfect. I never thought that I could feel this way towards him. I am so head over heels in love with this child that it hurts. I stare into his beautiful blue eyes and I can't imagine my life without him. Thank you so much for putting him in my life and for showing me that it is possible to love something I didn't think I wanted. I wouldn't trade this child in for anything. He is so sweet and handsome. I may not know what the future holds for my little boy but I do know that I am putting it all in your hands. You have blessed me in ways I never imagined that you could. Thank you so much for Ethan's health and thank you so much for Ethan. I pray that you continue to keep him strong and healthy and thank you, thank you, thank you, for entrusting me to be his mommy. It means so much to me to know that I was chosen to be the parent of one of your very special children.

Love always,
Amanda

Almost 6 months!

I can't believe Ethan is almost 6 months old. Time has gone by so fast. It feels like just yesterday that I was crying my eyes out after getting the diagnosis. What a different person I am today. If only I had known that my life would be filled with such joy and happiness. That little boy continues to amaze me everyday.




On a much different note our friend Ayla, Who also had Down syndrome, had to have surgery. Please keep her in your prayers for a speedy recovery. Ayla is seven months old and had to have surgery to repair a hernia in her diaphragm that her stomach was pushing up through. Her mom reports that she is out of surgery and doing well.

Only 2 days until we leave for vacation!!!

Third times a charm right?

So today I wanted to buy something special for a little E-man so I walked around Target for a while and decided on a Baby Einstein exersaucer. I brought it home to put together and as I was taking it out of the box I noticed that something just wasn't right. First of all there were no instructions. Then as I was looking at the pieces I noticed that there was pet hair all over them. It took me a few minutes longer to realize that all of the little pieces were in Ziploc baggies. I mean really? Someone actually used this and then returned it to the store. Okay so I went back to Target to exchange it for an unused one. I bring that one home and as I am taking it out of the box I am starting to smell a musty smell. Then I notice that the fabric on the seat is covered in MILDEW! By this time I am starting to get a little aggravated but I decided that I could just wash the seat because I did NOT want to make another trip to the store. I get about halfway through it and realize that they had given me 4 of the same pieces. The arch things would not lock together. Now I am REALLY aggravated. I wanted to cry. I had to take the stupid thing apart again. I packed up my three very crabby children and went back to the store. You think that I should have just given up at that point and gotten my money back. I decided to try one more time. Luckily this one was unused, free of mildew and had all the right parts. I put it together for him and he really enjoyed it. Sometimes I feel like no matter how hard I try things just won't go my way. GRRRR!